If I Could Do It Over – My Homeschool Advice for Those Starting Out
Eight years. I still find it hard to believe that I have been homeschooling for eight years. Through death, moving, sickness, and more, we have paved a path for ourselves that has become more of a lifestyle than I ever could have imagined it would become. If I knew then, what I know now, if I were to give homeschool advice for those starting out, my number one word would be – flexibility.
Anyone who knows me even a little, knows that I am extremely type – A. Therefore flexibility is not so ingrained in my personality! It is something I have worked to learn, to strive for, to incorporate into my vocabulary. You will often hear people talk about homeschool burnout and while it can easily happen to anyone, it often happens to those that are so rigid and schedule based like myself. When we allow the schedule, the curriculum, the need to check boxes off to run our lives, it can often lead us right into the ground!
The first year I homeschooled I had just given birth to our third child. I finished out the school year with our oldest in first grade, gave birth in June and began homeschooling 2nd grade in September. By October I had hit my “wits end”. We shipped the older two off to my parents’ house, my husband took a couple of days off from work, and I had to take a deep breath and regroup.
I was already at a point where I hated the science curriculum I had chosen because one or two sentences on a topic just wasn’t enough. We were just “work sheeting” through on a very skimming type of level, and I wanted more; more fun, more in-depth, more hands on. On top of that, my daughter hated math and was hitting a brick wall with it (you can read that journey in my article in the 2014 Jan/Feb Old Schoolhouse Magazine), and I still had a 3 year old and a newborn to contend with. Needless to say, something had to give.
What I started to realize right then and there is that I had to find a way to allow for change, adaptation, complete turn arounds even! I needed to learn to leave breathing space for all of us, learn to be ok with letting go, altering our path, taking a break or whatever the case may be, I needed to be more flexible.
So what did I do? I realized it didn’t matter where the math curriculum said we needed to go next. I realized our daughter needed more time and more practice right where we were at. I stopped trying to move forward with our math and realized it was ok to STOP and take the time we needed, right where we were. (What Happens When You Know a Curriculum Isn’t Working) That is exactly what we did. We stopped moving forward in the curriculum and I found more practice activities for the concepts she was struggling with. Math is made up of building blocks, and if you pull some out the tower will fall. Taking the time for her to be confident in each step is an important part of the process and we needed to allow for that.
As for the science, I used the curriculum as a guideline for the topics I wanted to cover. Then I spent time doing a little looking and a little digging to find a method of teaching science that we would love, that would enrich our minds and keep us engaged. What I found was that I could still teach the same concepts that were covered in the book, I just needed to teach them my way, our way.
So looking back over our previous eight years, and thinking forward to the many more (possibly another 10 if I see each of our children through high school) years I have in this journey, I have to stress the importance of being flexible. Being flexible means so many different things, from little changes to big ones, we need to keep our eyes wide open and be alert to ways that we might need to adapt our course to suit our needs.
So if I could do it over again, and as I continue down this path, my homeschool advice for those starting out is to be flexible!
Check out what advice other iHomeschool Network bloggers have for themselves:
February 17, 2014 @ 7:47 am
It must be a sixth grade thing with math. I’ve read so many examples of how at this grade homeschoolers just needed to take a step back from this subject. That’s where we are. I’m so excited to see where we go from here. I haven’t given up on math, much to my son’s dismay, but I know there is a curriculum that will get him back on track.
Patience is not a type A personalities best attribute. I’m learning though. My son loves computers, wants to be a programmer, game creator, so we are looking at books dealing with that. I noticed there is math with that, algorithms and so on. It will be interesting to see what the next few years has in store for him.
I really enjoyed your article in Old Schoolhouse Mag, have read it several times to remind me to step back, stop, and regroup. Thank you for sharing your experiences, Heidi. They are so valuable.
February 17, 2014 @ 8:48 am
Lynda, you are so right that type A’s are not so well suited to patience! I struggle with that on a daily basis. I try to keep my own type A to myself so it doesn’t over shadow the kids and what their personalities are growing to be. Taking a step back to regroup was a huge help in getting my teenager and I to where we are now with math. While she doesn’t love it, she is capable in math.
We did get over the yelling, screaming, fit throwing to a place where she can be successful in math and not be totally bogged down. She is even ahead of the game now! Thus taking the break to think things out and start over, even going back sometimes has not been a hindrance, in fact it has been a huge help!
Thank you so much for your encouraging words Lynda. Writing about our experiences, and more personal homeschool struggles or failures is difficult for me but I know I am not the only one and thus hope to encourage others along their journey.
February 17, 2014 @ 2:38 pm
I’m loving all of these posts on lessons learned along the homeschool journey. I really believe that our struggles are just a way to help us rethink things and to find a better way. 🙂
February 17, 2014 @ 2:43 pm
Marianne, I too am enjoying all these lessons learned posts! I often get caught up in feeling as though I am the only one with a certain struggle. It is nice to see that others are learning as they go as well. To me these struggles are not failures, but bumps in the learning process that do help us in finding the right path for our children.
April 27, 2014 @ 5:25 pm
Flexible.
I need to remember that as I start this journey! I know there is going to come a time when I feel the pressure…. Maybe I should print that out and hang it above our school area…
April 27, 2014 @ 6:14 pm
I always have to encourage myself to be more flexible. Sometimes my inflexibility squashes the joy out of things. 🙁 I think it is a great idea to print out words like this to hang in prominent places to remind us of the ultimate goals! 🙂
January 8, 2015 @ 10:00 am
Homeschooling is a topic that comes up a lot among my military friends since bases aren’t always located in areas with good schools and because homeschooling is a great way to offer something stable and consistent to military children. I’m so glad to have found your article as a resource to share with them when they are considering this option.
January 8, 2015 @ 12:33 pm
Corinne, I am so please you found this article helpful. I too know military families who have found a comfort in the stability and consistency of homeschooling while having to move around a lot.
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January 15, 2015 @ 8:39 am
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January 29, 2015 @ 2:42 am
That is great advice. When I started homeschooling two and a half years ago, I was pregnant with my third child, had a three year old and homeschooling a First Grader. My second year of homeschool, I was pregnant again. Now my third year is even more challenging. I share about it on my blog. I’d love for you to read, offer some advice and encouragement. http://www.asklatisha.com/my-third-year-of-homeschooling-dynamics/
Many blessings to you.
January 29, 2015 @ 12:43 pm
Thank you for sharing Latisha! Sounds like you have your hands full with some little ones underfoot!
Before the First Year of Homeschooling | iHomeschool Network
December 14, 2015 @ 6:19 am
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