While moving books around into our new cabinets in the basement I came across a book that my mother gave Joey and I for our Anniversary in 2001.  It is called Lists to Live by.
 

Here is one by Dr. Steve Stephens that struck me today:

Celebrate Your Differences

10 Areas in Which People are Different

Extrovert or Introvert: Extroverts love crowds while introverts would rather spend time in solitude or with a close friend.  Extroverts are energized by people and introverts are worn out by people.

Leaper or Looker: Leapers take risks; when they see an opportunity they want to jump on it before it’s too late.  Lookers are more cautious.  They like to carefully check everything out before making a decision.

Outliner or Detailer: Outliners have a general focus and look at the big picture.  They think in terms of direction and getting things done.  Detailers look at the nuts and bolts.  Their concern is how to get things done.

Spender or Saver: If spenders have extra money, they want to spend-on themselves, on others, on worthy causes, on anything.  If savers have extra money, they want to put it away for a rainy day.  They do not like to spend unless it’s very important.

Planner or Flexer: Planners love structure with everything organized and neatly packaged.  They like schedules and deadlines.  Flexers bend with the flow of life and take things as they come.  They tend to be spontaneous and laid back.  Loosed ends don’t bother them because they believe everything will work out.

Scurrier or Ambler: Scurriers are always busy.  Speed and efficiency are their watchwords-accomplish as much as you can as fast as you can.  Amblers take their time and set their own pace.  They might not do as much, but they enjoy what they do.

Thinker or Feeler: Thinkers focus on facts and principles.  They base decisions on objective data and tend to be task oriented.  Feelers focus on people or emotions.  They base decisions on subjective data and tend to be relationship oriented.

Dreamer or Worker: Dreamers are creative people who love to come up with ideas.  They are optimistic and oriented toward the future.  Workers are practical.   They like to take other people’s ideas and make them happen.  They tend to be realistic and focus on the present.

Collector or Tosser: Collectors gather things.  They hate to throw anything away because they know they just might need it sometime.  Tossers get rid of things.  They hate clutter and they insist that if you haven’t used something recently, you probably never will.

Juggler or Holder: Jugglers are multichanneled and can deal with many things simultaneously.  Holders are singlechanneled and cn only deal with one, maybe two, things at a time.  If they try to do more, they become stressed and overwhelmed.

Now, you are wondering what the point of all of this is.  I am writing this to point out yet again how different Joey and I are, yet how well we go together, like peanut butter and jelly!  Let me give you an idea of what I mean…..

 

Joey	Heidi
crunchy peanut butter	creamy peanut butter
grape jelly	red raspberry jelly
olives	no olives
no tomatoes	tomatoes
quick to fall asleep	has trouble sleeping
tomato soup	no tomato soup
no sour kraut	sour kraut
scattered	organized
doer	thinker
computer player	book reader
white Christmas lights	multi Christmas lights
green garland	red garland
does not like conflict	thrill of the debate

~

What is always truly funny to me is that when Joey and I go to buy something, like say for a project we are doing, you could pretty much bet your life we will pick different things;  I like the curved topped cabinets, he likes straight, I like the lighter paint, he likes the darker, I like the table with glass in it, he likes the one without.  Where we meet in the middle is a very small box.  Things like divorce not being an option in our lives, thus we fight like hell and compromise daily to maintain our happy marriage.

I believe it is our differences that make us strong though.  I often find in both little and large ways where my personality fell short or stopped being effective, that I see Joey’s pick up where I left off, without so much as a thought or conversation between us.  We don’t always see eye to eye.  At those times one point of view or way of doing/dealing with something wins out and at other times the other point of view shines through.  In the end, Joey and I feel as though everything happens for a reason and at the end of the day you have to let sleeping dogs lie.  So for us, we live, laugh, love, fight, compromise, and make-up, all in the spirit of knowing our differences balance each other out in the end.

We are all different and unique.

That creates balance, variety, and challenges in relationships.

Celebrate your differences; talk about them too.