“I Couldn’t Do What You Do!” or “I Couldn’t Homechool My Children!”
So often I hear this sentiment when talking with people about the fact that I homeschool my children. And just as often I have wondered….why? Why do people feel this way? Do they dislike their children that much? Is the burden of their education being solely on them too overwhelming?
While having a conversation with some other homeschool moms, I think I came up with a theory as to why. Or if I am in a bragging mood, “I had an epiphany!” as to why. Why this mystical concept of being with your children all day, and being responsible for their education might seem so overwhelming to our public school parent counterparts.
It came to me while talking about a friend of mine, who has recently felt so overwhelmed with the schedule she is trying to keep. Between two working parents, multiple school aged children, homework, dinner, housework, and outside/evening commitments (like sports teams and music lessons), there just isn’t enough time.
Imagine working out of the home all day and convening at home around 3:30pm with all of your children. In less than two hours you have to address all their homework needs, make, eat and clean up from dinner, prepare to have all children and their corresponding equipment loaded and ready to leave for the evening. Then you spend the next 3 plus hours caring to music lessons, school events, and multiple sports, only to arrive home at 9pm exhausted, with still more to do! There is homework to be finished, dishes caked with food in the sink, on the table, etc, showers to be taken, and preparation for the following day to be done. All of this does not account for the tired, cranky children that have been held up in school all day, now even more miserable to be doing homework and cramming food in and taking showers.
Does this sound like fun to you? No? Me neither. The reality is that this is what most public school parents base their thoughts on. Who would want to go through that all day, every day?
I realized that the tiny compressed amount of stress and chaos is what their reality is. Now I am not implying that we are singing Kumbaya and dancing through the fields of tall green grass all day, but I do know we find many more moments of deep breathing, belly laughing and moments of joy than the above scenario of the night time ritual allows for. How do I know? Because we have a similar nighttime ritual, only I am home to prepare our meal and do the housework, and there is no homework to be done! I can tell you it is a race to the finish in our home without all the added stress! If that is what I had to base my decision on, then I would say, “I Couldn’t Homeschool My Kids” too!
The fact of the matter is that in our home we have time to dot our “i’s” and cross our “t’s”. We also have time to make play dough, drop everything for a nature hike on an Indian Summer Day, sled on an empty hill when the snow is just right, and eat a banana for breakfast and call it “Continental Breakfast” like the one we experienced on our much loved Florida vacation.
I would like to think that if more parents could see what life, love and joy they could find in the daily grind of a life at home, a life homeschooling their children, a life where you get to enjoy so much of the good, and not just the rushed stress of a busy schedule, that they would say, “I Could Do That, I Could Homeschool My Children.”
November 1, 2011 @ 10:55 am
Beautifully put, Heidi.
November 1, 2011 @ 11:02 am
I think some parents think of homeschooling as having to be with your children EVERY.SINGLE.WAKING.MOMENT. and that scares them. I know, at least for me, that’s a huge struggle with the homeschooling “debate.” I had to get over my own wants/desires for “me time” {or find time when the kids are sleeping or playing independently} and realize that having “unlimited” time with my kids is a blessing, not a curse.
Stopping by to say “hi” from the Hip Homeschool Hop!!
November 1, 2011 @ 6:56 pm
“singing Kumbaya and dancing through the fields of tall green grass all day” – that makes me smile.
Very well said. I usually just nod and smile and say, “It is not for everyone, but you’d be surprised at how much easier life can be.”
November 1, 2011 @ 8:04 pm
I am going to be so lucky to still be stay at home mom/daycare provider whilst my kids are in school giving me that time too. I highly suggest being home for moms it is so wonderful and non-chaotic as opposed to the other options I have.
November 1, 2011 @ 8:04 pm
oops forgot to say also that it is nice to meet you and that i’m a new follower via the blog hop 🙂
November 4, 2011 @ 5:33 am
I couldn’t agree more. Thanks for linking up on the NOBH:)
November 7, 2011 @ 10:17 pm
I could not have said it better! I get this question all the time but your answer is awesome! I’m sharing this!
November 8, 2011 @ 9:36 am
Thank you Lexi! I am flattered that you would want to share this. It was something that just came flying out of me one evening and I knew I just had to post it!
December 18, 2011 @ 12:37 am
Amen and amen! It saddens me to hear women say that. After years in the workforce and my oldest son growing up in daycare, I am so blessed to have been a SAHM/homeschooling mom for the last four years. We LOVE it!
June 11, 2013 @ 4:25 pm
From the opposite side, I know myself well enough to realize that I am simply too selfish to be a good home-school parent. I wish it weren’t true, because (as we have talked about, lol) I often wish that I HAD chosen to home-school my one and only darling boy. However, I work from home, when I work. I get to go to the gym, when I want, run errands, clean (although it seems I always run out of time for THAT!), cook and all the above, at my own leisure and without accompaniment. Then when the boy comes home, I can (try to!) calmly deal with teaching him the things the school fails in (and there is much!) Often, I wish that I did home-school him just because we could be through the work faster, do the extra work that the learning disability requires, and still have several hours left in the day. The difference is … I couldn’t do all those selfish “me” things that keep me sane. My situation is significantly different than most tho, and I realize that. I gave up a lucrative career outside the home in order to keep my son out of day care and if I needed to re-enter that rat race, my home-schooling debate might have ended differently. Still though … I would LOVE to send my child to YOU to teach … 🙂 I think you are all saints, and wish God had blessed me with any amount of patience at all.
June 12, 2013 @ 8:48 am
My dear friend, I am touched by your response here. I am in no way under the impression that homeschooling is for every parent or every child and I KNOW what an amazing parent you are. Knowing your limits is important and you know you better than anyone and you fight harder and think deeper to support your son than anyone. I have know doubt you have chosen the path that is best for you. I just want people to know that homeschooling isn’t the pink elephant they necessarily think it is, and hope that people wouldn’t just discount it as on option if they were looking for something to alter what isn’t working for them. That is how we came to homeschool. Public school wasn’t ideal, we dug deep and researched other things, and decided to take the plunge…one year at a time. We have now finished 7 years and can’t imagine going back. You my friend are the kind of mom any kid would dream of having, and if you needed me to I would take your boy anytime. 🙂