I sat up until after 2am this morning reading.  For the first time in the book I felt emotionally connected and moved.  Before I started last night I had about 130 pages left to read, I now have about 30.  I cried through a good chunk of what I read last night.  Scarlett and Rhett’s relationship took such a startling, bone chilling turn in my opinion.  Despite them acting cool and aloof with each other I always felt there was a bond between them.  He seemed to truly know who she was, he not only accepted it, but seemed to like her for it.  He was a shock factor for her in the beginning but as time passes Scarlett grows to appreciate how she can speak frankly with Rhett and be herself around him.

Everything changes when she decides to kick him out of her bed out of some stupid loyalty to Ashley.  It stays quiet for a bit but then it explodes when she is caught in an embrace with Ashley.  I find it ironic that it is not even lost on fanciful Scarlett that her feeling for Ashley have changed, even though she still pushes those thoughts aside.

At this point is when Rhett turns dark and scary.  It is as if he finally snaps with this public outrage of connection between Scarlett and Ashely.  Rhett really does love her and I believe he hoped that one day she would let go of Ashely.  Rhett tells her Ashely can have her body, because Rhett can always find another bed, but he wanted her mind and her heart.  The angry violent scene in which they bed together for the night was intense.  In the morning Scarlett wakes to find him gone.  Then he takes Bonnie and disappears for 3 months.  It was during this time that Scarlett starts to realize how much she misses Rhett.

Upon his return she tells him she is pregnant.  But based on his aloofness to her she fakes her own feelings and tells him she does not want the baby (even though the exact opposite is true and this is the first baby she has actually wanted).  They fight and she ends up down the large flight of stairs and on her death bed for an extended period of time.  Rhett ever present, overcome with the guilt that he told her to:

“Cheer up, maybe you’ll have a miscarriage.”  She lunged for him, swift as a cat, but with a light startled movement, he sidestepped, throwing his arm to ward her off.  She was standing on the edge of the freshly waxed top step, and as her arm with the whole weight of her body behind it, stuck his out-thrust arm, she lost her balance.  She made a wild clutch for the newel post and missed it.  She went down the stairs backwards, feeling a sickening dart of pain in her ribs as she landed.  And, too dazed to catch herself, she rolled over and over to the bottom of the flight.

I feel so uneasy and anxious about their noxious relationship.  It was always cat and mouse before, not lion and prey!  Scarlett and Rhett are so volatile with each other, yet so secretly hurt and in need of each other.  Their anguish over the death of Bonnie only adds to the tension and strain.  I left off where Scarlett returns from her recovery stay at Tara.

With only a short amount left to go I can’t imagine how it will all end.  I know that I hope the scary, angry, vengeful, unsettling tension between Scarlett and Rhett will end.  I want them to be able to be honest with each, to truly trust each other.  They could have a fantastic relationship if they would only give in to each other and truly trust and support each other.  Fairy tale ending?  I think they are beyond happily ever and into reality.  Life, relationships in particular are hard work.  The people you are closest to and love the most, are the people you can hurt the most and the people who can hurt you the most.  They have a long road back, I hope they find it.