Chloe and I  spent the afternoon at one of her friends’ houses for a birthday party this weekend.  Her mother asked me if I had seen this comedian on YouTube who does this funny ” Momisms” song.  Since I had not seen it, she pulled it up for me.  It is Anita Renfroe doing “Total Momsense“.  Needless to say it is so funny!  Myself and another mom who had never seen it found ourselves finishing the sentences as Anita went on in the song.  So to all you moms out there, I am wondering how many of these lovely phrases you have used yourself?  If I had even a penny for the amount of times I have said the phrase, “Eat your food,” I would be rich!

Total Momsense

Get up and make your bed
Are you hot?
Are you cold?
Are you wearing that?
Where’s your books and your lunch and your homework at?
Grab your coat and your gloves and your scarf and hat
Don’t forget you got to feed the cat
Eat your breakfast
The experts tell us it’s the most important meal of all
Take your vitamins so you will grow up one day to be big and tall
Please remember the orthodontist will be seeing you at three today?
Don’t forget your piano lesson is this afternoon

So you must play
Don’t shovel
Chew slowly
But hurry
The bus is here
Be careful
Come back here
Did you wash behind your ears?
Play outside
Don’t play rough
Would you just play fair?
Be polite
Make a friend
Don’t forget to share
Work it out
Wait your turn
Never take a dare
Get along
Don’t make me come down there
Clean your room
Fold your clothes
Put your stuff away
Make your bed
Do it now
Do we have all day?
Were you born in a barn?
Would you like some hay
Can you even hear a word I say?
Answer the phone
Get Off the phone
Don’t sit so close
Turn it down
No texting at the table
No more computer time tonight
Your iPod’s my iPod if you don’t listen up

Where you going and with whom and what time do you think you’re coming home?
Saying thank you, please, excuse me
Makes you welcome everywhere you roam
You’ll appreciate my wisdom
Someday when you’re older and you’re grown
Can’t wait ’til you have a couple little children of your own
You’ll thank me for the counsel I gave you so willingly
But right now
I thank you NOT to roll your eyes at me
Close your mouth when you chew
Would appreciate
Take a bite
Maybe two
Of the stuff you hate
Use your fork
Do not you burp
Or I’ll set you straight
Eat the food I put upon your plate
Get an A, Get the door
Don’t get smart with me
Get a Grip
Get in here I’ll count to 3
Get a job
Get a life
Get a PhD
Get a dose of…
I don’t care who started it
You’re grounded until your 36
Get your story straight
And tell the truth for once for heaven’s sake
And if all your friends jumped off a cliff
Would you jump too?

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said at least a thousand times before that
You’re too old to act this way
It must be your father’s DNA
Look at me when I am talking
Stand up straight when you walk
A place for everything
And everything must be in place
Stop crying or I’ll give you something real to cry about
Oh!
Brush your teeth
Wash your face
Get your PJs on
Get in bed
Get a hug
Say a prayer with Mom
Don’t forget
I love you
**KISS**
And tomorrow we will do this all again because a mom’s work never ends
You don’t need the reason why
Because
Because
Because
Because
I said so
I said so
I said so
I said so
I’m the Mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
The mom
Ta-da

Words by Anita Renfroe Copyright 2007 Bluebonnet Hills Music/BMI

Sometimes at the end of the day, or even in the beginning of the day, I feel as though I want to scream and run from my house yelling “Take them, please, just take them!”.  Some days my babies start the morning out fighting at the breakfast table over who looked at whom and parenting the other one by telling them to sit and eat, in their not so very good “Mommy voice”!  You know you have a child in the house when you hear things come out of your mouth like, “Stop picking your nose!”, or “Sit down and eat your food!”.   How about some of my favorites like, “Did you wipe yourself?  Did you flush the toilet?  Please tell me you washed your hands!”.  Better yet, you have to love it when your child comes out of the bathroom naked butt first and yells “Mommy, can you wipe me?.  Of course this is best done at someone else’s house or when you have company in yours!

I do think these things balance themselves out though.  For every time I want to pull out my hair, there is a time I have to stop and smile about something else going on.  For example when Jayden and Ava are hold up in Jayden’s room and you hear Percy or Thomas or Lady impressions and trains running around the tracks.  I also love it when Ava places a hand on each one of your cheeks and smacks a big, gentle kiss on your lips.  How about those times when you catch them all snuggled up on the couch together, totally engrossed in a television show or movie together?  It is so rare with a 10, 7, and 3 year old that one show will make them all happy!

Being a mom is one of the greatest things we get to do here on earth.  It is one of the most rewarding and frustrating experiences we can have.  Being a mother has changed me, and I know it has changed so many women around me.  I even know one person who recently blogged about it.  It is not all sunshine and roses as some might try and make you think.  However, in my experience with many different things, you can’t truly enjoy the highs if you have never experienced the lows!